My mother in law apparently thinks I've let myself go. She hints about hair cuts and nail polishes and make up. She doesn't "get" me.

Sure I used to wear make up more regularly, but I've never been a glam gal. I'm not into that. And certainly not during the last few years in which I've become more enamoured of natural things. I don't want to put chemicals all over me, and I strive to look and feel more natural.

But this has got me thinking. Where and when did women get the idea that they had to put colors on their cheeks, eyelids and fingertips? How did this start? Cosmetics were used as early as the Roman empire, when women would wear face paints to attract attention (a.k.a. men) and we know the Egyptians used makeup. Lighter makeup was used to show that a person didn't have to toil in the fields (and were therefore not subjected to the sun), and early prostitutes used bright makeup to contrast with the higher class women who had paler skin. Reasons for using makeup have been myriad.

It was as recently as the 1920's that makeup became accepted in the U.S. When woman achieved higher social status, makeup came along for the ride. Women were "told", through the mass media of course, that cosmetics were vital to their attractiveness and even their worth. And women bought it, hook, line and sinker. Same thing happened concerning shaving legs and underarms. Magazines and radio (and later TV) commercials told women they weren't feminine unless they did these things.

So we were all manipulated by marketing to use cosmetics and shave our pits. The damage is done; those things are mainstream now. Like I said, I used to buy into all that completely. Now? Now I use a little foundation to even out my skin tone, a touch of eyeliner and lipstick and I'm done. I no longer feel a real need to use more, to dye my hair, to be anal about body hair. I don't feel like I need makeup to run out to the store or to go for a walk. And it irks me that people think it's "letting myself go". I'm clean, my hair is combed and usually styled...but I may have a few days growth on my legs. Why am I all of a sudden unfeminine because of that?

Well, I'm not. Not unfeminine that is. I'm still a woman, my value is not in what I put on my face or what I don't shave off my legs. I'm not going to be a marketing whore, I'm going to do my own thing. I'll leave you with my current fave quote by India Arie:

"Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won’t. Depend of how the wind blows I might even paint my toes. It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul.."