I'm at a crossroads in my homeschooling journey. Last week, we were very seriously looking at schools (or one in particular) for Gage for next year. He's going to be in 3rd grade - or doing 3rd grade work I should say. We don't really "do" grades.
I was just seemingly banging my head against a wall with schooling him. Rather, I should say coming into contact with his very strong will. It was frustrating. He was frustrated, I was frustrated. I didn't like having to fight him to do his work, which really isn't all that much "work". We do lapbooks about continents (that's just learning about the continent or whathaveyou, and putting all the info you think is neat into a folder type thing where you can access it later if you want to), we read books together and answer questions about the book, we measure rooms, we cook with fractions, we talk about clouds when we're driving in the car, we write stories about Pokemon characters (the kids obsession du jour)...but it was still difficult. When he even sensed we were trying to actually..gasp..LEARN something, he would balk. On those days I didn't have my creative juices flowing I'd give him worksheets with math problems and grammar lessons. He would usually go into a 15.2 minute freak out beforefinally doing the worksheets. Did I mention it was frustrating?
But the whole school atmoshpere just left a bad taste in my mouth. I had a very stong instinctual feeling that I did NOT want him in school, at least any of the ones around here. We have no charter or alternative schools here, and all the schools are very much tuned into the proficiency tests which I loathe. I could just see his spirit getting squelched and I couldn't do it. Now I'm not one who says all forms of structured schooling are bad for children. I don't believe that. There are plenty of schools out there who go against the grain, who actually want to foster a love of learning in the students rather than just spit out good little worker bees who will keep the economy going. My nephew went to a school like that in New York City. Where there were no grades, the classes were like in depth discussions rather than lectures, the arts were encouraged rather than tacked on as an afterthought. He thrived there, and I think that school played a large part in his desire to go from their poverty stricken Brooklyn neighborhood to an Ivy league university. The high school actually valued independent thinking and enabled the students to see their value as human beings, not just grades or test scores. Obviously, there are no schools like that in our moderately sized city. And I'm sure that there ARE public schools out there that are trying to do better, that are striving to turn out well rounded people who are emotionally and intellectually richer for the experience. But since we don't have any of those nearby, I realized that homeschooling was and is our next best option.
I also realized that I have to make some changes in the way we've been homeschooling in order to minimize the conflicts while maximizing teachable moments and a more learning rich environment. And I need to swallow hard and get my antisocial self out there in order to meet Gage's need for a social outlet. So that's what I'm going to try to do. I feel that homeschooling is totally right *for us*, but at the same time I know I haven't been giving it 100% of my focus as it needs.