Friday, March 12, 2004

Hmm, what has happened since I last posted?

-My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and has already had the mastectomy. The doc said a lumpectomy would do it, but she just had him take the whole breast. Just to give her some peace of mind about it. She's a strong woman, very brave and very much with her feet firmly planted in reality. I think I must get my sense of realism and stoicism from her (nicely balanced with the over sensitivity and romanticism of my father). We now wait for the pathology results to see if she needs chemotherapy. We've got everything crossed here...

-I started my job and I love it! I totally made the right decision. It's at a small branch library, so it's very quiet and not busy at all. The drive is 20 minutes and I'm even liking that...the driving fast, the not worrying about lyrics of the loud music I rock out to. Then at the library, when no one is there (which is frequently) I can just browse the racks or sit and read...I have to frequently pinch myself. I'm getting paid for this?! Mason has done just fine with it all; this is the first time he's really been without me for any period of time (and this is still only 5 hours at the most!).

-I've lost 5 lbs! I'm trying to be better about my constant desire for chocolate. I'm getting more exercise. I feel pretty good!

-I stopped taking the Zoloft. I never did get used to the idea of a chemical altering my moods, even if it was for the better. It just really bothered me. And I was having touble sleeping. And I coulnd't reach orgasm. Imagine! That was...horrid! So that was enough to make me want to be off them. I still feel pretty well, just a touch more anxious and a bit more short temepered but overall it's good.

And I think that catches everything up. I need to vent/ramble about my marriage, but that's just hard to do. I want to write things down, but it's like it's stuck in my head...all the things I want to say, all the things I want to write. And my thoughts waver from moment to moment so it's hard to put into words...

Anyway...

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