Saturday, October 25, 2003

Bought the kids some Moose Tracks ice cream. I was good! I had willpower! I was amazing! I have NOT eaten the ice cream!


(I just picked out the huge, delicious fudge chunks and ate those)

We're getting ready to leave next week for Asheville, North Carolina. My mom's family is from there and she hasn't gotten to visit since I was 12. Now there's no reason not to go. So we'll visit family with her and hopefully get to see some of the Smoky Mountains and such. We did manage to schedule our trip so that we'll be driving at night both ways. Sleep, babies, sleep!

Monday, October 20, 2003

I really don't have much to say...or rather not enough time right now to say it...

Just wanted to post *something* since it's been a while.

In regard to my previous entry, I did manage to ovulate this month! (aren't you glad you surfed on in here?! Next I'll be talking about my cloth pads again) I haven't started the "stuff" I should for my thyroid, I'm hoping I'm just one of those women for whom it just rights itself and is a post partum issue. A girl can hope, can't she?

I'm very much off the watching weight bandwagon. Why I can't just do this I'll never know. I suck suck suck at working on my weight. My plan is to screw it. I mean, not beat myself about the face and neck for every little thing I eat. I'm going to continue working out but I'm not going to be defined by my weight. It's just stupid to get to that point. Yes, I did watch Beautiful Girl last night, wanna make somethin' of it?!?

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

In other news regarding my body as disaster central, I am now fairly confident that I have a thyroid problem.
Most people with low thyroid function will exhibit low basal body temperature. I’ve just recently started charting my temps again since my fertility returned; or so I thought. I’m not ovulating, which is so very unlike me. Normally my fertility is awe inspiring lol. (Side note: I’ve tried not to use ‘net acronyms on here as much as possible. But I find I need to add a good LOL every now and then. Sorry) And of course my temps are very low, which they’ve never been in the past. Low thyroid function is pretty much the sole contributor to low temps. Plus I have all the other symptoms.
I’m very upset by this. I mean, it’s one thing to think your body is malfunctioning. It’s quite another to know it with near certainty.
My main problem is that it seems, after much searching and reading, that the only real treatment is hormone replacement via synthetic hormones or the more “natural” cow/pig derived thyroid hormones. Now, if you know me at all, you know neither of those options are acceptable to me for a host of reasons.
So I need to start adding a veritable buttload of minerals and supplements to my daily routine, a couple yoga poses and some visualization. But even these are questionable as far as treating a thyroid imbalance.
Oddly, I don’t feel my weight is thyroid related though. I am able to lose weight when I focus on it (i.e. not eating handfuls of chocolate chips). Also I haven’t really gained weight. That’s a plus, isn’t it?
So I caught a few minutes of Dr Phil yesterday and it was interesting.

He was telling this overweight guy that he pretty much had to have an emotional trigger to his overeating. Hmmm. I've always wondered about that. I really don't feel I have said emotional trigger. I just like stuff that tastes good. I like food. I love to bake and to cook. And I eat when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm stressed, when I'm calm. I don't really see any underlying reason for my eating.

I'm wondering if everyone with a weight issue has an emotional reason behind their eating. I've been racking my brain for the last 24 hours trying to find mine. I mean, there has to be a reason that I eat more than most people, right? Because I do believe my weight is directly related to my over-intake of food. I'm not going to blame genetics or some such thing, I know how I got here. But the why's of how I got here are intriguing. I'll keep mulling it over.

Sunday, October 12, 2003

Scott's been laughing at my recent interest in sports. Last night I was rabidly switching back and forth between Ohio State and the Cubs (yay! OSU got beaten and...Cubs win! Cubs win!)

He rolled over shaking his head when I asked if a certain batter was due and then tried to argue that they should pull the pitcher because he gave up a couple hits. And of course it was just outrageous when some nutjob from OSU tried to choke out Wisconsin's quarterback (and no flag got thrown!).

I'm not normally a sports fan. I just want the Cubs to get into the World Series to break the curse, and OSU just needed to get slapped down. So I enjoyed the games. I guess it's funny because I know just enough about sports to be dangerous.

Saturday, October 11, 2003

Interview game! I got my Q's from Kym If you want to play, comment and I'll give you 5 Q's of your own to answer on your blog...

1. Do you think your first name befits you? If not, what would you like to be named?
Hmm. Never really thought about my name. In high school it wasn't common which I liked (non conformist that I am lol). There was only one other Cheryl and we actually were best friends! That was fun at times! I think I'm okay with it...maybe I'd like a hippie Zappa-esque name, just for fun.


2. Do you ever crave meat at all? If so, what's your desire? If not, tell me a yummy yummy meatless entree I should try.
Truthfully, I don't. I used to like my moms meatloaf, and cheeseburgers, but I don't miss them, or want them really. I have to cop out on the recipe - Scott's the cook around here. But I love this vegetarian Shepards Pie that's at Allrecipes.com. It's verrrry good. And yes, I did actually make that one!

3. Where do you see yourself in ten years? What do you WISH your life will be like in ten years?
Hopefully, successfully downsized with an RV to do extended roadtripping with the fam. And really, that's what I hope for too. There are days where I wish Scott was a workoholic making lots of money so I could be a stay at home mom with lots of disposable income but that's usually after a fight lol!

4. Imagine someone gave you $500. What would you spend it on?
Well, I don't have to imagine. Scott's mom just gave us $500 out of the blue. We put it toward the new furnace we had installed yesterday. Booooring!! But if it were just mine to blow, I'd get some great clothes, hair done by Justin (Kym!) and I'd go out drinking/dancing with my buds.

5. Do you dress for yourself, for other women, or for men?
I dress for...myself I guss. Although I really think I'm just dressing because I have to. Most days I don't even give it a thought. Sad really.
You were so new and fresh from God five years ago. Your spirit was trying to harness all its beauty and fire into that little body. It was a difficult transition but to look at you today...crazy-dancing around the room to Earth, Wind & Fire...a transition still in progress but so sure of its direction.
Sometimes I catch a glimpse of you in the rear view mirror, sitting in the backseat telling some fantastic epic tale, and I see the woman you will become. Amazing.
I am awed still that you chose me to be your mother.

Happy 5th birthday Madeline!

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

Self loathing is soooo constructive (can you hear the sarcasm?)

Ugh.

Saturday, October 04, 2003

So now that I'm actually working on getting healthier again, expect entries about such.

I'm down 7 lbs in 10 days! But today I headed to this outdoor farmers market type place and wowee! I had this excellent coffee and some of Gage's pumpkin ice cream (omg, it was to die) and some of Maddie's vegan brownie and then pizza for dinner. I think I'll abstain from weighing for the next few days. I know, I know...I shouldn't weigh so often but it motivates me.

One thing I've started doing is bothering me though. I stop myself from eating past around 6 p.m. then I make myself eat later in the morning, that way my body is going for longer without outside fuel coming in. Therefore it must be burning fat instead. The part that bothers me is how good I feel the longer I go without eating. Like *not* eating is the goal or something. I'm worried this is unhealthy thinking...that it might lead to something worse. Thoughts anyone?

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

Today I'm feeling very BLAH. Having one of those days where dh annoys me (and I him I'm sure), kids don't listen, baby takes a tumble and hurts himself (not badly, just a red forehead). How do I not have the Huxtable family?! Oh...wait...that was just on tv...