I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm so frustrated with dh's illness and the medical community's lack of ability to diagnose it. I'm frustrated at having to do all the parenting/house stuff while he's sick. I'm feeling guilty for feeling frustrated at having to do all the parenting/house stuff while he's sick.

This is so crazymaking! The doctors are apparently idiots or they think we are. I believe the latter is more likely. First they say it's a virus. Now, because it's been 2 months and no improvement, it' s no longer a virus but it's stress. Bear in mind, my husband is the most stress free person I know. He meditates, does tai chi, works out and just doesn't let things get to him. Plus this has been a relatively stress free period for us. So it's not effing STRESS! It seems like anytime a doctor can't make a diagnosis anymore they blame stress.

So tomorrow, I am going with him. I will be bitchy. I will ask why we're having to search the internet to figure this out when he's the effing doctor. Why they haven't referred him to a cardiologist since some of the symptoms seem heart related and he has a family history of heart disease and heart defects. Sure they've done an EKG, but that doesn't mean there's not a problem. Hello, there ARE other heart tests out there! I'll make sure they understand that we're not stupid and that my dh isn't just imagining these symptoms.

Did I mention that I'm feeling frustrated?? Next week is Thanksgiving and he's STILL sick. Is he going to even feel better for Christmas, our anniversary? I don't feel worried that it's life threatening. I don't know why, but I feel sure that it's not something extremely serious. But I do worry that it's just going to be an ongoing, this is your life typ e problem. It would kill him to feel this way permanently. He can't even function. He came home from work Monday and went to bed. At 5 pm. He was in bed until the next morning. This is NOT normal for my normally very active husband!

So, if anyone's reading, think positive thoughts, light a candle, even pray if that's your thing. I'm worried. Oh yeah, and I'm frustrated!