Argh!

Can I vent about my freaking family some more?

So this is the day my sister watches my kids while I work. It's for 5 hours, once a week. And yes, I feel guilty about asking anyone to watch the kids because I have this thing about asking people for help. I don't do it. But I had to ask her for this favor and she's seemed pretty ok with doing it. This morning, she had to run an errand before coming over. Now bear in mind, this is the sister with no drivers license or car so we've been pretty much their main mode of transportation since they moved here over a year ago. So I pick her up a half hour before I have to be at work (this was a planned errand which had to happen at this time, so it couldn't have been earlier, etc..). I figure I could do this errand in 5-10 minutes so we've got plenty of time. Not. She comes walking out of the building at 10:00. Yeah . That's when I'm supposed to be here at the library. Yay me! If you know me at all, you know I loathe being late. I can't stand it. It's disrespectful and it's not keeping your word. And my word is my bond :-) Seriously though, I was really peeved! Seeing as she could have just picked up the form and taken it to my house, filled it out, and we could have dropped it off this afternoon. Nope, gotta fill it out there for some reason. UGH UGH UGH!!!

And part of me is saying I shoudn't be mad, she's doing me a favor by watching the kids. But damn, we've been doing them favors for the last year by giving them rides everywhere and picking up pieces of furniture here and there, and...and...and... So part of me feels guilty for being mad but then I also feel really pissed! Guilty and pissed, a fab combination.

Then on the way home she says something about our mom asking if I walk to work or drive. Fuckity fuck! The size of my ass is my own effing business thankyouverymuch! And no, I don't walk on the days she watches the kids because I already feel guilty for asking her to do it and I don't want to leave any earlier than I have to. 'Course I'm already mad about the late thing so I say "why does she care so much about my weight? It's my own business. It's not like I weigh 400 lbs or something". She can say all she wants that she's worried about my health but I ain't buying it. I'm not a health risk, it's just she thinks I look bad. I may be fat, but I'm not stupid.

I'm just really feeling shitty today.