After catching up on Holly's blog, and reading her post about not being "into" the whole birth and pregnancy stuff anymore, I got to thinking.

Why am I *still* very much into it? I still love reading birth stories, I still enjoy living vicariously through others' pregnancies and births, I still think about "just one more". Though, yes, I do know that in my current situation it's not going to happen, I still do think about it. It's funny that I feel this way even though in my heart of hearts, I know it's best to be finished with additions to our family. I do feel like three is a very good number for us. But I still have those fleeting feelings. And I actually envy women who are able to be done with all the feelings and the babylust.

I believe it's because I still regularly hang out at a fertility based web community. Every time I read posts there, I get the baby urges. I know that I should just stop visiting there, but I've made some friendships with like minded moms and I want to keep up with everyone. Still, it's hard to be with a group of mothers who are continuing to add to their families when I'm past that stage.

I am actually looking forward to parenting older kids and not having an infant in the house. Mace is almost 2 and is starting to be a tad more independent. Getting a shower is nice, completing a task is nice. I'm happy with my three as is, but I guess I'll always have that babylust monster lurking in the back of my psyche.