If I drive by your house at night, and you have your blinds open or drapes pulled back, I’m going to look in your house. I want to see your living rooms, your dining rooms, your kitchens. I want to see you through your decor. I’m nosey like that.

It’s this blind desire that brings me to sometimes linger on MTV and watch Cribs. This is the show where music artists/actors/misc glitteratti open their doors to MTV and take MTV and you on a guided tour through their home. It’s a dumb show and I’m ashamed to say I’ve watched it. I have to say that most of these people have homes that are as vapid and superficial as their music is. Case in point? Mariah Carey. Her house is just horrid; it’s all gold and shiny, and looks absolutely unliveable. But she takes them to her upstairs sitting room and says...are you ready for this?...”this room looks exotic, like a mirage took place here”. Okay then Mariah, a mirage “took place”? Um, no. I don’t think so. Learn to speak the language and please try to understand the meanings of the things coming out of your mouth. Ugh.

Anyway, one of my absolute favorite episodes was when they visited Moby’s apartment. It was just so normal, no outrageous stuff, no glittering gold crap. And my most favorite part? When he took them to his bookcase, and added that he’s never seen a book or anything on most episodes of Cribs. He’s right. None of these artists seem to have anything inside their heads. They all have big TV’s and cars and “stuff”, but nothing more. Nothing to show they’re even trying to grow spiritually. Well, that’s because they’re not. I think most celebrities are very young souls. It’s sad really, that so many people look up to these “artists” and they really have nothing to offer but songs; most of which are just odes to their odious lifestyles.

But I digress. It’s nothing new that I don’t like what Hollywood, and our culture as a whole, values and places importance on, but this show just takes the cake. I could try to be less judgemental and assume that not every episode is as bad as the Mariah Carey one, the Nellie one, the Missy Elliott one. Or I could just become a Hollywood interior decorator and put together these tacky houses for millions of dollars.