After a recent disagreement with my family over the wonders of eating the flesh of other creatures, I’ve been thinking about the ever expanding chasm between myself and my family. It seems I’m questioned almost relentlessly over every decision we make, from vegetarianism to cloth diapering to homeschooling. I’m told there’s no reason to be environmentally conscious, as it doesn’t make a difference anyway. I’m told I need to toughen up my kids to get them ready for “the real world”. And no matter how much I explain why we do what we do, they continue to think we’re doing these things for no good reason. I’ve read reams of information about the decisions we make. No one needs to read anything to go with the flow, to send their kids to school, to use all the paper products they can buy, to eat meat and they never get questioned. I try to make informed decisions and I get flak about it.

I do know this is because the choices we’ve made are different, they differ from those our parents and our friends have made for the most part. I’m okay with other people making different choices. But it seems those who have made mainstream choices feel threatened by what we’re doing. Maybe because father culture is whispering in their ears; maybe because they feel that questioning the status quo is dangerous. Or maybe they just think we’re stupid.

I truly think that’s it. They really don’t listen to our reasoning for not vaccinating our kids, they don’t listen to our reasons for using cloth diapers, they don’t hear anything positive about homeschooling. They just think it’s weird and not good for our kids. Based on nothing but their opinions! They won’t read anything about these things, they just think because it’s different it’s ultimately not right.

I’m sad about this, because it really is making a difference in how much I want to interact with my family. No one wants to be questioned constantly. I don’t want to have to explain over and over that no, I don’t want my kids eating bacon. And it kills me that my family can’t respect my decisions like this. They try to undermine me whenever possible, by getting Gage alone and telling him how wonderful school is and how he really should go, by encouraging our kids to eat meat when we’re not right there. These things make me extremely hesitant to leave the kids with them for any length of time at all. They’re not respecting us as adults, competent enough to make our own decisions about our family’s well being. It’s at times like these that I feel like I could move to a more progressive community and never look back.