Yeah, I'm still around!

Feeling...pretty good. I'll be 19 weeks pregnant tomorrow and am glad to be almost halfway done. Funny, I thoroughly enjoyed my previous three pregnancies and for some reason I feel a lot more worry and anxiety over this one. I think it's the feeling my body is failing me, or that I've failed my body, over this blood sugar issue. I can't eat the foods I want, I feel hungry a lot of the time, I hate having to even think about it. Even as I type this, bambina is moving furiously in my belly, though. She's there, and I think she'll be okay. The sacrifice will be worth it.

And yes, obviously I'm still thinking "she". After much thought and consideration, we are going to go through with an ultrasound next week. And knowing how much I can't wait for surprises, how I can't stand not knowing what's in that prettily wrapped gift box, I think we'll find out if my instincts are right and this is, in fact, a girl. Totally cliched, but I really don't have a preference either way. Boys are great fun as well...I just can't shake this girl vibe I'm getting.

We're also moving forward with our plans to move to the country. After thinking about it and wondering if it will still work with one more person involved, we're going ahead with the home as is and will build on relatively quickly. It's being moved and secured this week actually! So then Scott can get to work on the interior changes. Likely we're looking at a move next Summer at the earliest. It's going to be a stretch, but we just can't stay where we are now. We want more freedom, more time to spend with our kids without being so stressed about finances. That's a huge drain on a family, having to keep "paying the bills" near the forefront of your concerns. It takes your focus away from your kids and on more trivial things. I know I'll be happier when we have more financial freedom.

So anyway...that's where things stand. For some odd reason, even with all these worries, I'm looking forward to the holidays. The kids are excited and they're getting some things they want...I think it'll be a good time.