It’s one of those gray, rainy days. Normally, I really enjoy these days for some reason but today we need to go out and mow at the new place. It seems like every chance we get to go out there, it rains lately.

I keep wondering if we’re getting all these messages from the universe and we’re just not heeding them. Earlier this week we found out some of the neighbors out there are not too happy about us moving a mobile home out there. It’s not like these are big expensive homes and they’re worried about resale, most of the surrounding houses are old farmhouses that have been in the families for generations. And they don’t come to US to get to know us or find out what our plans are, they just complain to the zoning commissioner that we’re going to “junk it up” out there. Nevermind that they know my mom who’s lived out there for almost 20 years and my brother who built a house there several years ago, nevermind that they don’t take the time to find out what our plans are…they just don’t want a mobile home there, period.

So there’s that.

Then the fact we have to get this uber-expensive septic system because of the soil and lot dimensions (it’s 1.8 acres but there are issues with the grade and everything). Sure, $9000 may not sound like a whole hell of a lot to some people but to us, it is.

And some other issues we’re coming up against as well.

But I keep wondering, is it the universe telling us it’s a bad idea or society just chafing against our desire to break out of the system? I’m not sure. And there’s no way to tell for sure anyway.

I keep getting these stress headaches over all this stuff. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking and re-thinking this stuff.

We just don’t have the money to do this, which is so ironic because we’re doing this because we don’t have money but we can’t do it without money.

I want to run.