Okay, this is much more summer-y. Wow I get bored at work!!

But for some reason, when I preview it through Blogger it looks fine but then when it's published all my links and archives fall to the bottom. If any poor soul wanders through here and can tell me why, I'd be much obliged. (cue spaghetti western whistling) Mmmm...spaghetti....

Anyway :P

So I've been working hard lately on accepting myself and my body for what it is. I'm never going to be wafer thin but I still have value and am a pretty darned good person. I need to stop beating myself up and start accepting myself. I've been working on this and surprisingly enough, I feel like it's working. I'm not sure why it never has in the past, but maybe since I'm hurtling through my thirties (I'm 33 already! haha) I'm starting to gain a bit of perspective and not a small amount of respect for myself.

My only issue is...yes, my husband. Love him with all my heart, but I don't feel like he sees past the weight either. Lately I've been able to feel good about myself all but a certain few times. Those times have always been with my husband. I don't accept myself around him because I don't feel he accepts me. And he doesn't really *have* to or anything, this is my issue, my battle. But I do feel there is a part of him that feels, no matter how hard he tries to hide it, that excess weight is a character flaw. That if only I wasn't lazy/had some self discipline/cared about myself then I wouldn't be fat. And again, I can't say with 100% accuracy that these are his thoughts, it seems his actions and sometimes even words said in jest lead me to believe they are though.

I don't know what the answer is. All I can do is all I can do. I can choose to get over myself and quit worrying about my size. If no one else comes along for the ride, then more room for me! :P