Quick, someone thwack me upside the head! I need a talkin' to, I need some sense knocked into me!

I'm babylusting again. God help us all.

It's just been odd, because lately I've been totally and completely happy with being done! But weird things have been happening for a while. About a month ago when we went to the zoo (did I already mention this? If so, tough shit! :-)) I kept paying for four kids. From the guy at the carousel to the woman at the train ride, I kept handing them money for me and my four kids. "Uh, ma'am? You only have three kids, you overpaid us" yeah, I'm an idge! And when I see people posting online about being pregnant with their fifth or thinking about more than 4 kids I start to think "that'd be me if we had more" until I realize hello! I only have THREE kids! I just always feel like Ihave four running around the house. If I only have the three in the room with me for split second I'll look around for the other one. Just a strange feeling.

Then I keep getting the comment "I thought you had four kids?" from friends I hadn't seen in a while, or "I keep forgetting you only have three kids" from online friends.

I honestly don't think we're going to have more kids, but these things are just throwing me when I'm already feeling the old baby lust kicking in.

So, how can I stop the lusting? I stop it usually after a rough day with the kids or when I look at my checkbook but then it creeps right back up on me. Realistically, I'm happy we're out of the baby stage. I don't like the baby stage all that much. I like being pregnant, I like giving birth, I like the idea of more (older) kids just not more babies. And I want to do other things, I'm ready to start doing things for ME now.