I feel horrible today. Hopeless and lost. I go from room to room trying to find a place I can relax and feel human again. This feeling follows me as does the cat, meowing pleadingly for something (though he's just been fed and watered). He's adding to my feelings of annoyance and anger. I put him in the basement, a metaphor for trying to push my feelings away and wanting to shut the door. It doesn't work; he just squalls more loudly from down there, and the feelings just bubble beneath the surface.
Things that might be minor annoyances are today sufficient enough to cause angry loud outbursts. I want to run away, I want to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head. I want to do something, I want to do nothing. I want to cry but at the same time I feel dried out, devoid of emotion. I feel like my life is useless and pathetic. Their lives would probably vastly improve if they didn’t have to tolerate my crazy mood swings and anger.
I tell myself I'm just stressed and sad, but that’s not really it. I'm just tired of being me.

God I hope I am actually on the right path out of the woods. I can't stay lost in here much longer...

(Okay, I wrote this earlier this morning...then I had some dark chocolate, took my vitamins and my B supplements and Mace just nursed to sleep - gotta love those happy nursey hormones! - and I feel a lot better. I'm still going to post this because I did feel it, and it's valid...)