I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me....

A little self hatred a la Beck.

Why do I always feel like the outsider, the person on the fringe, not really part of the group? All the groups I'm in, whether irl or on the 'net, give me the feeling I'm just not vital, not really needed. Gawd that sounds pathetic. That's not really what I mean...I guess I just feel unimportant lately, like I just don't have much to offer or to give. I feel like I go through life one step apart, like there's an inside joke going on and I'm the only one who doesn't get it. And I think this is MY issue, it's not anything others are doing or saying. It's something I sense even when it's not there. I'm overly sensitive, if you haven't guessed. I worry that something I've said is taken wrong, I worry about things I'm going to say, I read emails or posts ten times before I send them just to make sure I don't offend someone. Why the hell do I care so much? I mean, it's one thing to be sensitive to people's feelings, especially people you care about. But when you get worried about what total strangers think of you, it's a bit much. Yeah, it is.

Just having a sucky day....
(and FYI, this was brought on by a group in which no one is aware of this blog...so if you're reading it, it ain't you lol) See what I mean? Already with the disclaimers...geez.