I posted earlier then went to the kitchen and made apple berry crisp. I'm an excellent saboteur.

But I did make it with less butter, and we do have my teenage nephew over to eat it so I'm not worried about eating the whole pan. It is good though.

Since I'm feeling rather unmotivated at the moment, I thought I'd share the things I'm looking forward to doing when I get to a healthier weight.

- going swimming with my kids next summer. I love love love swimming but have been reluctant to do so with all this weight. I do see women quite a bit larger that I am at the beach throwing caution to the wind. I'm just not that strong...

- having our family pics taken. Our last professional family pic was taken when Gage was a year old. I was thin then due to the Phen-Fen. (Hey that rhymed!) I hate that I was weak enough to use drugs to lose weight. I will never do that again.

- not feeling like I have to cover up this part or that part all the time.

- good sex. 'Nuff said.

I'm going to keep reminding myself of those things when I feel like taking out the fridge.