Why is it that I get so consumed with things? I'll start thinking about some new possibility or change and I become obsessed with it. I think about it constantly. I try to figure out how to make it happen, what I should do, what it would mean...it's crazy.

And I knew I did this long before my darling husband decided to point it out to me. But I can't for the life of me figure out why.

Am I one of those people who thinks the next big change is going to be the one to finally and completely make me happy? But I feel so happy right NOW. I don't think I'm looking for happiness, at least not more than I have now. Am I a change junkie? Now that I could see. But I don't usually deal all that well with change, so why would I crave it?

I just don't know. I do know that I need to "be here now", I need to cherish this moment and be present in it. I think I'm such a planner that I keep planning for tomorrow and never living today. Not a good way to live I think. I'm losing all these moments by thinking about next month or next year. My kids are growing up right before my eyes and I'm going to miss it unless I snap out of this. So here I go, to live in the moment. Or at least try to until next week...or next month. If I can squeeze it in.