I'm feeling like I have a lot of "stuff" to get out, like I need to do some writing and vent my spleen a bit. Not sure about what though lol so that puts a damper on things.
I'm feeling pretty good with life lately, content I guess. I feel like things are going pretty well right now. It's two weeks until Christmas, we didn't use any credit cards this year and we're pretty much ready for the big day. We got the kids gifts I'm sure they're going to love. Things are going well. I know I feel like our financial struggles are huge quite a bit, but when I really look at our situation and I hear about other's going through tough times..well, I see that we don't have it that bad.

I'm still broody as hell, and I don't know what to do with that. To be honest, I have this deep feeling that we will have another baby, and it won't go away. So my wondering if I do or don't want another seems pointless. It might sound crazy, but I just feel on a soul level that it's already written, it's done. Scott still seems to be coming down on the side of being done, but I can't shake this. I've told him about it, and told him if he's really wanting to be done then he needs to do something because otherwise I truly feel like it's just going to happen. I won't make it happen, he's still in control of the birth control lol but I have a sense it's just fate. Of course he won't really do anything about it.

Anyway. I feel secure about it when I'm thinking about our little family, but when I start thinking about extended family I get anxious. None of them would understand. At all. I guess it's not about them and that's what it comes down to, but still...

For now, like I said, I'm feeling good. I'm going to keep working on getting to a healthier place and go from there. I need to do that anyway. This next year sure should be interesting! I'm actually looking forward to a new year for a change...hopefully getting started with the addition, getting some chickens (my mom was getting rid of hers but decided to wait a bit...we'll likely take a few in the Spring if she still wants to get rid of them), doing a really nice garden...and maybe, just maybe, something else new too.