I was the first to say, way back when, that my homebirth was really nice and all, but not necessarily life changing. I'd read all these homebirth birth stories and hear people talk about how their homebirth was so empowering and life altering and amazing. Now, I've always felt it was amazing, and I knew had I been in a hospital I would have been hooked up to everything imaginable and would likely have been sectioned for my 11.5 lb baby. So I realized the importance of the location of my birth, but I guess I just never felt that "life altering" feeling. My life was altered because I had a new son, but not necessarily by the location of the birth.

Fast forward to now. I'm slowly realizing that it really was life altering, and I'll tell you how. This time, I know we may not be able to financially swing another homebirth so I'm faced with the possibility of a hospital birth. I'm faced with fighting for the things I want during a time in which I should be sitting back, relaxing and enjoying bringing a new life into our family. I'm faced with likely interventions for all kinds of silly reasons and a birth at a hospital whose reputation is far less than stellar. I'm realizing that my life changed in that I cannot fathom birthing anywhere but home. I can't imagine leaving my kids to bring their sibling into the world somewhere else. I don't want to even think about lying in strange beds without the comforts of home.

I'm going to do everything in my power to have another homebirth. The mere thought of birthing anywhere else makes me feel sad and scared.