Today I realized I want to maybe, think about, perhaps weaning Mace. I know many people who are thinking "Finally!" but I really do believe in child led weaning. Maddie nursed until 3 and weaned when I got pregnant with Mason, so I really have no solid weaning experience. I didn't really do anything to wean her. So without another pregnancy on the horizon (envision pouty face) I think this time it's going to have to be a bit more mom-directed.

So I know the hardline child lead wean-ers (ha ha) will probably not like my thinking this way. They will say he'll stop when he's ready! And I know that...but I need an end date in mind. He's going to be 3 in November. I think he wouldn't have irrevocable mental anguish from weaning soon. He's gotten all the good parts of nursing, as have I. I'd just like to be able to sit down without him needing nursies.

So there's my treason to the CLW group. And even typing it, I know I probably won't actively wean. I'll do more of a "don't offer, sometimes refuse" thing. To those aforementioned hardliners, this IS weaning. But I don't see it that way. I just think, at almost 3, he's able to sometimes wait to nurse. He's able to understand that I can't always just drop everything to nurse. He's old enough to get that. So we'll still have nursing available, but if he finds that after waiting a few minutes he'd rather play with his trains or play outside with his brother and sister, I think that's an okay thing. It's not cold turkey, it's just a gentle nudge.

I keep wondering if I'm going to be sad when he weans. To be honest, I don't recall being sad when Maddie weaned. This was due in large part to the excruciating discomfort I'd feel when trying to nurse her (disclaimer here, I do totally support tandem nursing. But for me, just didn't work out at all). So I'm not sure if under normal circumstances I would have felt more sadness for that time ending. I'm not sure I'll feel sadness this time either; I think I'll feel more of a twinge. One of those moments where you think "they're growing up so fast" but not true sadness. Who knows though.

It finally happened. I knew it would at some point, I was just putting off the inevitable. I've been bitten by the Harry Potter bug.

I started reading Philosopher's Stone to the kids last week. Well, they weren't all that into it. Their interest waned after a mere few pages. I, on the other hand, couldn't quit reading. I finished that and Chamber of Secrets in a couple days. Then I couldn't locate Prisoner of Azkaban, so had to borrow it from one of Gage's friends. Though I'm 100% sure this book was our missing one; we had loaned it to the friend way back when we bought the first three book series and the kids had forgotten. But anyway...I started that late last night and finished it this afternoon. Now I must go out and buy the remaining books. Not sure I can wait for that Scholastic book sale in a week...And as much as I must read the rest, I don't want to read them too quickly because then it will be over with.

I know this obsessive interest thing is a symptom of adhd. I've thought for a while that I have many of the characteristics of adult adhd, but I don't want to buy into that label. The obsessive interest thing is really tough, though. I find something I'm interested in and I totally immerse myself in it, become single minded in my approach to it, find so much happiness in it...until I don't anymore and then I'm utterly done. So I suppose it's a double edged sword...there's happiness there until there's none at all.

Still here, slogging around.

There has been progress on our move to the country. It's slow but moving forward which I guess is better than fast and moving backward. It's going to happen and that's what's getting me through. Reading about the family in Mother Earth News who lived in their pop up camper for a while made me see we can definitely live in almost 1200 square feet. And they had 5 kids - we've only got three! So I'm feeling more optimistic about this day by day.

Marriage stuff is going better.

And I just realized in the post below I mention Mace's birth being in 2004. I'm too lazy to edit that post, but it was obviously 2002. I'm a dork when it comes to dates.

Not much going on of late. It's summer, and it's hot. We've gotten lots of cabbage and some peppers, eggplant, zucchini and cucumbers from the garden. No tomatoes yet, oddly. Just as last year, they're still green. We had lots of them last summer, just later than usual, and that seems to be repeating this year. I WILL put up sauces and veggies. I WILL do it this year. Last year I canned a bit just to get the hang of it but I didn't really do that much. I need to get with it on the tomatoes this year. I want some sauces! I think in trying to get the hang of gardening I didn't think through what I wanted and needed. Too much cabbage and too many sweet potatoes. Ah well, plant and learn I guess.

Fighting some stupid ill-timed baby lust again! What is wrong with me?!!? One of us needs to make some permanent changes and it needs to be soon.

That's all the news thats fit to print from the house of me.

Since I'm feeling bitchy lately anyway, here are some pet peeves of mine as observed working in the library computer room...

First of all, I absolutely hate when people bring their small infants and chilren in then proceed to ignore them while they chat online or play stupid video games. The baby wants your damned attention, dumbass! This annoys me to no end. Okay, it breaks my heart more than it annoys me. I mean, if you're that inattentive here, in public, I can only imagine how you are at home. Poor children. I want to smack them. The parents, I mean.

My other complaint isn't nearly as upsetting to me as the first one. People are allowed so many pages of printouts free, then there's a minimal charge per page after that. I have several people who will print pages and pages then try to sneak out when I'm busy! Damn, people! What a stupid little dishonest thing to do!

I'm just not happy with humanity today.

It's raining out today and I'm loving it. I normally love rainy days and today is no exception.

We had a good holiday weekend, and Scott is still on vacation this week though I am not. I'm enjoying a rainy morning here at work while I lazily surf the net (and yes, I am allowed to do this at work thankyouverymuch!). We had surprise birthday dinners and pool parties and lots of time visiting with family. It was nice.

Now back to the grind - you know, the one where we're trying to get lots of things done with little time and/or money. We're still waiting on our drawing/layout from the excavator so we can get our permits. He will be contacted today...I spent time yesterday writing out plans and budgets and I have no idea how this is all going to work. But it has to, so we're pushing ahead.